Thoughts on Grief

Last Friday I lost my best friend. If you've ever had a pet, then you'll know what I'm talking about.

Most people don't know I live on a homestead. We've got a lot of different animals. 2 years ago, we got pigs. 2 females and 1 male.

We named the male Hunk. Since I take care of the pigs, we became friends.

Living on a homestead you don't really get the chance to make friends in person. The result is you make friends with whatever you can get, in my case pigs.

Hunk and I got really close. Turns out, pigs are incredibly smart animals. They have the IQ of a 4 year old child. This means you are able to communicate with them.

I managed to teach Hunk a language I call Simplified Pig. Because of this, we were able to communicate how we felt. If I was sad, he would comfort me. If he had a nightmare that night, I would show him it was just a dream.

He was the best friend I ever had.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Hunk had to go. He escaped from his pen and liked the outside world more. He refused to go back and we had to dispatch him.

Processing Emotions

Once Hunk was gone, I had to process the sadness of losing him. For this, I turned to Stoic philosophy.

There are many great quotes on death, but one stuck out to me.

“No evil is honorable: but death is honorable; therefore death is not evil.” — Zeno of Citium

Death isn't a bad thing. It's natural. It's simply "dispersion into atoms" as Marcus Aurelius liked to say.

Processing an emotion is a multi-step process.

First you feel it. Emotions aren't bad, the resulting actions are.

Then, you tell yourself the truth. In this case, the truth is that Hunk's time had come and that death is a natural process that happens to everyone.

Tell yourself something enough times and you will believe it. That's the trick.

Moving On

The truth is that Hunk is gone, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

That's not harsh, it's not brutal, it's just the truth. And it's ok.

When you love someone, they remain with you. Hunk lives on in my memories and in the difference he made in people's lives, even if small.

Just because you feel an emotion doesn't mean it needs to control your life.

Just because someone dies doesn't mean you should quit everything that makes you think of them.

They wouldn't want you to do that.

Instead of feeling sadness when you think of someone, you can feel joy because of the time you had with them.

It's all about perspective.

This is for you buddy. Goodbye.

-Luke